4th of July

Hope everyone had a happy 4th! Ours was pretty low-key, we had some friends over for hot dogs Friday afternoon, but that was about it. We made no attempt to watch fireworks because I wasn't willing to keep E up that late.

Thursday night I had a brainstorm... since it's a 3 day weekend, why not try to do some night weaning and/or get E to sleep in her crib more? Oy. R agreed to try. E woke up around midnight and I went to get her. The idea was to comfort her but not nurse her. She screamed and cried and then quieted down and I thought, hey this isn't so bad. Then she started screaming again. Repeat the cycle 3-4 times. At this point R took E, but as he's picking her up she's grabbing at me like she's drowning and I'm a liferaft. And then I started crying/sobbing/bawling.

I took her back and nursed her.

Total elapsed time: 15 minutes.

I don't think E or I am ready to wean. Or maybe night just isn't the place to start.

I did make a point of having R put E down as much as possible. That usually goes well. He thinks it doesn't go well a lot of the times, but he can usually get her down in a half hour which is good in my book. Especially since there's no screaming involved. Sometimes there's crying, but often it's just fussing or not wanting to sleep. He does a good job.

I think that it'll take a bit longer than "a month or so" to get back to the RE. Unless I plan on trying while nursing. And it may come to that, but not yet.

After Thursday night's fiasco, I'm ok with waiting even if it's another year. And maybe I'm ok with only having E. She'll never be an only, she does have A, her 13yo half-brother... but of course with an age-gap like that (and the fact that he doesn't live with us), she'll be an only in many ways. But maybe that's ok.

Time to re-open the carousel?

Hello again. It's been a while.

E is now 13mo old. Not walking yet, crawling all over the place, and saying new words every day. Seriously, she knows a lot of words. The latest one is sock. Ok, sure, it sounds more like "sahh" but she only says it as she's holding or grabbing at a sock, so I think the meaning is clear.

I always thought that we'd start trying for number 2 once E turned 1. We put money in our flex account for it... but that's as far as I prepared for it. "Prepare?" you ask. Well yes, mental and emotional preparation. Can I handle 2? Will I be destroying E's happy little world by introducing another child? And the big question... do I have to wean her.

Yes, you heard me, wean her. Despite the dismal statistics on nursing in this country, I am nursing my 13mo old. Nursing to sleep at night and for naps and any other time she wants it. And we co-sleep most of the night, so she nurses at night too. Not really sure how many times a night as I'm asleep through most of it. (Although last night she stayed in her crib until 4:30am! So that may be on the way out.)

Anyway, we went to the RE for a consult today. My old RE left the practice and the infertility field, which was very disappointing as I loved her. The main doctor in the practice, who we saw today, is Dr. G. It just seemed like a much bigger practice now - whereas before, Dr. D did all our ultrasounds herself, I don't think this would be the case anymore. I told Dr. G that I was still nursing. He said to let him know when she was weaned and then we could start. Said that prolactin hormone lowers the chances for implantation, so why go through all this when you're still nursing? Didn't seem to be any room for flexibility, but I didn't press the issue. Maybe I should have.

I've done some more research online... I don't see anything to say that it would be harmful for E or #2. But it would be pretty much impossible to know if the nursing interfered if the IUI didn't work. And it's a lot of money. So can I justify spending the money and doing something that might sabotage it? On the other hand, can I take away something that gives my child so much comfort for a "maybe baby"?

I don't know.