Day 35 - the official negative result is in

Well golly gee, what do you know? I'm not pg. Stopping progesterone now, so I should start tomorrow.

I was supposed to have lunch today with a friend of a friend who just adopted a baby. She had to cancel, but it's got me thinking about it again. I know that it took her a long time to get a baby (2 years I think), and part of me wonders if I shouldn't start moving forward with adoption. We had started looking into it, but then we started getting hopeful about having one ourselves when we decided to go to the specialist.

I don't want to sound like adoption is a second choice… but I guess it really is for me. I think it's a great thing to do. I know I would love a baby no matter where it came from. But I guess that getting pregnant isn't just about getting a baby, it's about being a woman, about my body doing what it's supposed to be built to do. God, how unenlightened and anti-feminist does that sound? I swear I'm not a member of the "religious right"! I just don't know how to express it. But despite how much I want to carry a baby, having the baby is more important, so adoption is definitely an option. Also, I feel that if I have to have IVF to get pregnant, then that's too much. It's too expensive for something that's not a certainty. I'm willing to jump through a lot of hoops, but that's not one of them. Adoption is preferable to me over IVF.