The Fertility Carousel

Reaching for the brass ring on the fertility carousel (again!). (Because I already caught the brass ring on the infertility carousel and I want to get rid of it!) Two years of trying to conceive, but I finally got baby E. Now we begin going around and around again. Infertility sucks.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006


So one week of progesterone later…

It's not too bad. Maybe an annoyance, but they aren't slimy or anything. They're made of cocoa butter, so it's solid when you use it, but melts inside (hey, melts in your ___, not in your hand!)

Doesn't seem to cause mood swings either. I've been feeling pretty solid emotionally ever since I made the appointment with the RE. Although I did have one crying outburst, it was over a TV show - so I'll just chalk that up to a Hallmark Moment that was perhaps intensified by hormones.

What made me cry? Something horribly touching? A classic movie? No… an episode of Dr Who. I don't even like Dr. Who. Rob was watching it, I was ignoring it and surfing the web. But when the guy died, I burst *loudly* into tears. Geez. Even as I burst, I was laughing at myself and recognizing the ridiculousness of it.

I keep feeling something in me. A slight pain - not quite a pain, not quite a cramp. But it could be a cramp, it could be a reaction to the progesterone, hell it could be gas and cosntipation. But can it be a good sign??? Implantation?? Part of me wants to believe, to let my hopes soar. But I have experienced the pain of crushed hope too many times in the past two years. I can not let myself dream like that. It's so hard to keep my feet on the ground.

But surviving this is all about the power of neutral thinking.


Blogger Rob said...

Gas is a strong possibility.

No more beans!

1:43 PM  

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