The Fertility Carousel

Reaching for the brass ring on the fertility carousel (again!). (Because I already caught the brass ring on the infertility carousel and I want to get rid of it!) Two years of trying to conceive, but I finally got baby E. Now we begin going around and around again. Infertility sucks.

Friday, June 16, 2006

My best friend had twins

June 12 - my 32nd birthday

June 13 - my best friend had twin girls


Now obviously I've known the twins were coming for a long time. And while I've been happy for my friend, it's also hurt a lot.

There's not a lot of logic behind emotional pain. I don't hold it against my friend. I'm genuinely happy for her. The babies are sweet and wonderful and frankly a lot better looking than a lot of newborns.

But over the months, it's hard not to think "it's not fair". It's not fair that she's already had her babies and she's two years younger than me. It's not fair that she got pregnant the first month they tried. It's not fair that... well, you get the picture. And in my hormonal stressed out state, these things have made me cry a lot over the last 8 months.

So while I've been happy for her, I've also been dreading the babies' birth. Because I worried that it would make me cry more.

But I'm happy to say that I actually feel a bit better now that the babies are here. Darn cute babies... it's just impossible to hold a grudge against them.


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